Nov 10, 2011 by     2 Comments    Posted under: lit

Every Thursday afternoon our friends over at You Deserve a Cockpunch join us here at Clothesline Productions to count down the week’s most cockpunchable people on the planet.

5. Adam Sandler
Sandler’s new movie, Jack and Jill, opens tomorrow. I don’t think I really need to say anything else.

4. Mark McKinnon
McKinnon, a senior strategist for the last two GOP nominees for president, called Rick Perry’s awesome gaffe in the recent GOP presidential candidates debate “the human equivalent of the shuttle Challenger.” McKinnon later said that President Obama’s failure to address a grief-stricken nation in the wake of this tragedy was the human equivalent of George W. Bush.

3. Herman Cain
Two women have gone public accusing Cain of making unwanted sexual advancements against them. He has categorically denied the accusations and said he’s “never acted inappropriately with anyone. Period.” Well, except for the time he asked his secretary if she wanted to taste his pepperoni. BOOM. Ha ha. Get it? Pepperoni!?! He was CEO of Godfather’s Pizza. Yeah, you get it. But seriously, this guy loves sexually harassing women.

2. Gary Glenn
Glenn is president of the American Family Association of Michigan and one of the leading supporters of “anti-bullying” legislation, recently passed by the Michicagn State Senate, that actually “allows bullying based on ‘moral convictions.’” He opposed legislation that had been championed by anti-bullying advocates because it called for ”reporting requirements and enumeration, or listing, of protected classes.” Glenn said the “faith-based bullying” bill that passed is better because it doesn’t “single-out groups for special protection.” In Gary Glenn’s world, protected classes are bad unless, you know, the class you want to protect is people who torment children as an expression of faith.

1. Anyone who doesn’t understand why Joe Paterno was fired
The man sat at the top of an institution that, at best, honestly thought it appropriately handled a graduate assistant’s claim that he witnessed Jerry Sandusky raping a ten year old boy in the football team’s locker room shower, or, at worst, willfully engaged in an effort to cover-up the situation. Either way, he had to go. No matter how many news satellite trucks you overturn you dumb fucks.

Earn cred, share a bit.

2 Comments + Add Comment

  • I vote for Joe Paterno.

  • 1. Anyone who doesn’t think Paterno should be fired deserves a class-action cockpunch.

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