Have You Seen Me Wearing My Jean Shorts?

May 1, 2011 by     No Comments    Posted under: lit

They are looking really good.  I’m not typically one to brag, but now that it’s warm outside, I have been wearing them nonstop.  I must admit, I do look very handsome.  This really is the best time of the year to wear my jean shorts, too.  I think they look best when the contrast between my legs and the denim is at its greatest.  Let me tell you, these legs haven’t seen sunlight since September!

I love the changing of the seasons because it really expands my wardrobe. Technically, my jean shorts are deemed inappropriate by my office dress code, but I think exceptions can be made when you look this good in a particular piece of clothing.  I can tell they have caught my boss’ eye too, because I always catch him staring at them.  Maybe I’ll bring him a pair.  You can get pretty hot while computer programming, and a pair of short pants just makes good sense.

He’s not the only one that has been taking notice either.  The other day, I was rollerblading down the sidewalk, and someone yelled out from a moving car, “Hey, d-bag, nice jorts!”  Now I’m not sure what the word d-bag means, but it did feel really good to get some praise for my jean shorts.  They really are very snazzy.  I don’t like the word jorts, however.  I’m not sure why.  Maybe it’s because it sounds too much like warts, or farts, so I think I’ll just keep calling them jean shorts.

Just this morning, I spilled some Mountain Dew on my shorts while I was eating breakfast.  Obviously, I was distraught at first, but the more I look at the stain, the more I think it looks pretty neat.  The color of the soda compliments the wash nicely, and if you scrunch your eyes up, the stain kind of looks like Tom Brady.

If you haven’t seen my jean shorts yet, don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of chances to see them.  I’ll probably be wearing them every waking moment until the leaves start to turn, which is at least three and half months away.

- Cecil

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