COUNTER COUNTERPOINT: You Know What, Spring is Really Kind of Aiiiiiiight
I’d be lying if I said spring was my favorite season. Shorts are awkward, April legs are pasty, and yes: allergies. I also hate the hay-fever feeling that makes me want to scoop out my eyeballs and dunk them in a glass of water. But you know what I say to allergies? Sudafed.
Then I sit back and enjoy the things that make spring a fun, and at the very least unique, three months:
- Daffodils. Tulips are great, but daffodils? Slightly better. More personality. They’re the first color you see in the year, and they have bright, bursting petals that make them look like goofy little flower-lions. If I were to join a band with any flower, I would want to do so with Daffodils.
- Summer plans. Remembering that life will not always be a trek through needling wind, we start planning for the Best Summer Ever!!!. We look for free concerts in the park; we brave our first, chilly, al fresco cocktails (maybe accompanied by an ambitious though premature grill-out); we go to the first baseball games of the season. Being outside is less something to bear, but an activity to enjoy—provided you’ve taken aforementioned Sudafed.
- Fucking. Biology is bigger than all of us, and springtime, no matter who you are, awakens that basic and glorious motivation for most things we do: At the end of the day (or at the beginning—I don’t know your life), we want to pull close the body next to us
and fuck the shit out of it. And springtime affection is different from any other time of the year. It’s exploratory, it’s fresh, it’s invigorating. And it can include high-fives to your partner to celebrate another winter survived.
So sure, spring isn’t the best season, but it’s still pretty damn good. For anyone having trouble with it, I recommend a toolkit of Sudafed, brand-name tissue (you deserve it!), and daffodils, which you can bring to that special someone. They may be moved to demonstrate their gratitude with a traditional springtime gesture.
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